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Saturday, February 9, 2013

For My Birthday

It took me over 2 hours to get my kids down for a nap today {which means nap time is almost over now}. Eden can't keep her eyes open - because she hasn't slept through the night in a week and is waking up at 630 (her normal is 730-8) - but she "isn't tired" and wants to clean her room. Yeah, right! Hunter has pooped, thrown his paci and his tiger out if his crib, and won't stop crying. Did I mention that any time he thinks about falling asleep, Eden yells, screams, cries, or gets into her dresser - which shares the wall with Hunters crib on the other side! Oy vey!! I'm tired...

So what on earth could this have to do with my birthday {the title of this post, if you didn't notice}? Well for my birthday I want a day off. Lane has golfed Saturdays for the past 2 weekends - no big deal on the surface, until my kids are making me rip my hair out, lose sleep, and wrecking my house. Ok, so I want a day off!!! Seriously.

A day without snot on my clothes. Eden told me today that she just wanted to wipe it on my shirt. Really?! I'm not a freaking tissue!

A day without poop stories! I'm tired of wiping butts that aren't my own. Yesterday Eden has quarters in her pocket and they fell in the toilet...with her poop. Being the good mom that I am, I donned a glove and went in after them {all the while, reminding her that I'll never do it again so she needs to be careful from here on out}. When I pulled my hand out of the glove, it was wet! Are you serious?!?! I didn't even want to do it WITH a glove, let alone with pool water in the glove too!!!!

A day with no housework. There's laundry to be folded, washed, put away, dried, and any other number if things you do to laundry at any given moment. There's always a stack of dishes in the sink {clean and/or dirty} plus some in the dishwasher - your guess is as good as mine if they're clean or dirty, I've lost track. Hunter climbs on the dishwasher door, pulls out plates, forks, spoons, and heaven forbid he finds the knives in the back. If he isn't doing that he's pulling on my pants {wiping snot on them} wanting food or attention. The kicker, if he's doing that, Eden is asking "hold me?" While pressing herself up against me and gets mad if I tell her I'm busy.

A day of flowers, chocolates, wine, and pampering. I'll take a mani/pedi, a facial, a massage, a foot rub, bubble bath, a hair cut, the whole 9 yards! I want it all! I'm selfish, I know. I'm allowed to be!

I want a maid. Not every day, not for a whole lot of stuff, just the nitty gritty stuff. You know, dusting, cleaning baseboards/floors, and bathrooms. Oh, and I'd be willing to have her come just once a month! I feel like that's about the point I feel that I'm falling behind with everything and that would give me a chance to catch up on the 678,890,152,765 loads of laundry and the rest of the crap in my house!

I'm not asking for too much am I?! Hahaha, I mean, it's every mom's dream, right?! Just one day off.

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