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Friday, June 17, 2011

Anxious

That's a good word to describe how I feel most days these days. Well, not most days, just more often than in the past. Lane and I have made the decision that we are ready to try to expand our family again. Exciting huh? Well, not if you're the control freak that I am!

My anxiety starts up when I take note of something small that Eden does and I think its totally amazing. Take today for example: we were at the pool and Lane and Eden were playing {while I sat in the shallow end of the baby pool soaking up some rays} and Eden's hair was sticking up in true Alfalfa fashion! Lane and I both got a good giggle from this sight. If we have a second child, will we notice the small things like we do now? I know we won't lose sight of the milestones and the big things that happen, but what about those small moments?!

I also get anxious when I think about the fact that Eden is our everything. Right now our days revolve around her and she ultimately dictates what we do and when we do it {within reason, of course.} I think about sharing what we have with her with a second baby...when Eden was first home from the hospital, she had our 110% attention, will a second baby get that attention, in addition to Eden getting that same attention too? I know we will love both children equally if we get the opportunity to have another child, but once again, the anxiety starts to set in.

Oh wow, I'm not even pregnant yet...I need to calm down! I know that there are plenty of multi-child families who love their children more than you can ever imagine! I remember thinking that I knew how I would love Eden before she was born - I had no idea! Until you are a mother {or a father} you don't know that kind of love. It's amazing! I know it will be the same if we are blessed with a second child, so I just need to get over my emotions and my anxiety about it all!

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