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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Guilty

Now that the pain of saying goodbye is just about gone, I'll admit it...Once the bandaid was ripped off, he was gone, we left the airport {and did it all again the next day for the rest of the guys leaving on the C-130s} it hasn't been so bad. I say that now, and I know I'll be totally ready for his return, but we've been good.

Yesterday we went to the squadron to see off the rest of the guys. Since Lane flew out commercial, he left a day earlier than most of the deployment. The planes left a day after him and so the kids and I went down to be part of the send off. I knew that the spouses that will be going through this with me would be there. They'd be left standing on the flight line with tears in their eyes as the planes took off for never never land. It was hard all over again. Luckily there were other little kids around, so Eden was excited to play with them, and I even let Hunter get down and run around for a bit too.

When I woke up and I wasn't crying, I felt a little guilty. I felt like I should miss him more. I thought I should still be sad that he's gone. I mean, I do miss him, and I do wish he was here with us walking through the door each evening for dinner, but it isn't terrible. Eden and Hunter colored pictures for him today, and we took his first box to the post office today. We're making our new normal. We're getting into our own groove. I'm glad that it isn't terrible - because I know we'll have our days and our moments that it is. I'm glad that it seems like we're going to get into a routine relatively quickly. We're doing great and we've already got 2 days under our belts!

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