Sunday, March 31, 2013

Motherhood Is...{13}b

My other blessing this week is that I have an awesome husband!

He knew that Eden and I were starting to butt heads a little more than just your every day stubborn-preschooler-with-a-strong-will vs. stubborn-Mommy-with-an-even-bigger-strong-will. {He might have even said "Ok, no yelling," as he left the house, but was talking to me just as much as he was talking to her - ok, he looked me dead in the eye as he said it just before he looked her dead in the eye!} Eden and I just get to a breaking point every now and then. We just can't take each other anymore. She's into pushing all my buttons, but I refuse to let her win - and then everything blows up. We were almost to the blow up stage. I'm going to blame the fact that I was a single parent while Lane was gone for 3 weeks - but not blame HIM - for the "why." 

Deep down, I know it's me though. I know I shouldn't let her get under my skin - or Hunter for that matter. But he doesn't know quite what he's doing. She's doing it just to get a rise out of me. Every time I get angry and I lose it, I remind myself of my Scream Free Parenting book that my dad gave me. It only speaks truth, and I get it, I just have a hard time practicing it sometimes. The basic concept of the book is to keep your cool. When it come to parenting, you cannot control their actions, only your reactions. The best example in the book is when he saw his son on the outside of the staircase banister {you know, the one that if you fall, you plummet? Yep, that wrong side!} If he were to yell, his son would have startled and fallen. By not yelling {and staying cool} he was able to ask his son why he was there, what he was doing, and tell him to come down safely. I think about this often, I just have to work on the execution!

Anyways, back to my husband and why he's such a blessing. He noticed that I was starting to be very short with Eden. I was not willing to let her slip, and I was not willing to allow her to even think about venturing into the "wrong." While this sounds all fine and dandy - she's 3! She's going to push limits, she's going to get a ton of toys out, she's going to tease her brother - she's going to be 3! Imagine that - a 3 year old acting her age! Say what?! I know, that's where my parenting was headed though. I didn't want toys to be taken out - I was tired of cleaning them up or standing over her to make sure she picked them up. I was tired of her teasing Hunter - I didn't want him crying. So, yes, I was slightly irrational.  

So what did Lane do for me? After going to the Easter Egg Hunt at church, he said to me, "why don't you just go out, spend the afternoon doing whatever you want to do and I'll stay with the kids." I don't think he expected me to run as fast as I did! The first thing I did was turn my music up in the car and head to the nail salon! Oh, wait, I had to stop and get coffee so that while I was getting my manicure and pedicure I had something to sip on. After that I sent Lane a text that let him know I wanted to run to Target and to get the jogging stroller fixed - just needed a new tire. The response I got was "whatever you want to do is fine with me," so I went to Target to do some last minute Easter outfit fixes and buy some new running clothes. I leisurely walked through the store and enjoyed being able to look at things without small voices talking to me and asking me questions. It was bliss! 

I loved it. I came home and I was a much nicer mom! I was able to be cool and calm when there was no need to blow up. Eden and I got along all through the afternoon, evening, and even through bed time. Hunter was oblivious to it all, but didn't get teased by his sister {looking for any kind of attention she could get} as much, so he was overall happy too! Basically - Lane saved us today! I was headed straight for a path of disaster and instead was able to peacefully {and rationally} parent my children. Ahhhh, a break from life - it was good! 

1 comment:

  1. I can SOO relate!! We have those kind of days often around here. Parenting isn't an easy job and add in the fact that we are military wives often playing the single parent role. Bless Lane for recognizing you needed a break! Keep your chin up sweetie :)