Friday, January 4, 2013

2 or More?!

When we got married, Lane and I always talked about 2 kids. It avoids the "middle child syndrome" and I've always said that I want an even number of kids. I have no logic to that, but I don't want an odd number. Well, I guess I do have logic {even if it is skewed.} I want to be able to go to amusement parks and everyone have a riding partner. I love rides. Lane loves rides. I'll be damned if my kids don't love rides! Oh, please let my kids love rides!!!!

After being pregnant the first time, I realized that it was awesome! I loved being pregnant. Hunter's pregnancy was just as great for me. I'm not sure it was as great for Lane, but that's ok! I did notice that my cravings were more intense with Hunter than with Eden, but other than that it was great. My ending weight was the same with both pregnancies, I didn't get diabetes, I was able to avoid surgery during delivery, and even though the heartburn was terrible {both times} and I had awful calf cramps {worse with Hunter} it was perfect.

My feelings about where we stand? I'm happy. I love my kids. We have the "ideal" family with an even number - 1 boy, 1 girl. The best of both worlds. Yes. On paper, everything looks perfect. But I have one hold up. I liked being pregnant! I want to do it again and again. I want to know my "last" is my for real last. I want to have more kids. NO! Not right now. Not in another year. I want 2 sets of 2. Call me crazy. By the time I want that second set of 2 we will have been out of diapers for at least a year {hopefully} and will be free of all things baby. We will more than likely be sleeping through the night, and we'll be beyond the terrible 2s for both kids. Eden will be going to kindergarten, and Hunter will be soon to follow suit. I know, I know, I'm insane for wanting the second set of 2. All that being said...Eden will be 6-ish, and Hunter will be 4-ish when that second set comes around! Think of all the help. And think of all the entertainment for each kid. Even though it will all be the same, it will be so different.

Lane's feelings about where we stand? He's happy. He loves the kids. We have the "ideal family, with an even number - 1 boy, 1 girl. The best of both worlds. Yes. On paper, everything looks perfect. But he has no hold ups. Things are right where they belong. When I was pregnant I had a crying fit {that wasn't too terrible if you ask me} and he told me, "I will be so excited to get my wife back" talking about me being hormonal. He also at one point told me that he would "hate for me to have to quit cold turkey" talking about my addiction to bake-free cake batter dip {which is de-lish!} In his defense, neither of these things offended me, but made me think, "hmmm" with regards to my behavior {crying over nothing and eating sweets like I'd never see them again...oops!} Pregnancy is so much better for me than it is for him. He always jokes about my second set of 2, but this week, he had an honest, "I don't think I can do it" moment with me.

As much as it broke my heart, I know it's something we'll have to work through {and we hopefully have about 4 years to talk about and decide.} Neither of us is 100% on either side of the fence - though I'm closer to 50/50 and Lane claims he's about 80/20, no more/2 more. We love our family the way it is. We would love to extend our family if we feel that's the route that is right for us. If we decide that our family is "our perfect" then we will just grow as we are - grow up. If we decide that our family is ready to expand again then we will just grow bigger. Until we decide, we will just live each day as it comes. We will enjoy being a growing-up family of 4 and we will love every minute of it. We will live in the moment.

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