Crazy Emotions

I guess they come with the territory of change, but add in pregnancy and these emotions can get the best of me! Small things are bringing tears to my eyes and it doesn't even have to be a sad moment. A cute video. A picture. A commercial. Anything! I don't remember things being this crazy when I was pregnant with Eden, but this go round, I'm feeling the surge of emotions for sure!

Last night I lost it because Eden didn't want to go to bed. She's still not asking for her paci at night - thank you God! - but she's dealing with change in a way that I didn't think she would. Since Lane is home now she's not wanting to go to bed {maybe worrying that he won't be there when she gets up, I'm not sure} and she lets us know that she doesn't want to go to bed. Falling asleep has never really been an issue with Eden and last night it took her an hour to fall asleep. She was so worked up and she wanted to be rocked. She wanted to hold my hands. She wanted me to sit by the crib and look in at her. She wanted me to hold her. Worst though, was that she was crying and saying "Mommy!" as I left her room. It was so hard and, yes, I cried.

I've already had tears come to my eyes again today while watching a {funny} video online about breast cancer. The video was cute and there was nothing sad about it. I don't know why it brought tears to my eyes. It just did.

Ugh, add in the change of moving NEXT WEEK and there you have it, I'm done in for sure. Next Wednesday the packers will be at our house and putting all of our stuff into boxes to be moved on Friday. That means that we will probably be out of our house before the weekend is over next weekend. When we get out to California we will move into our house on November 8th after closing on the 7th. Can you believe it?! We're buying a house and we're moving into it in less than a month. Wow, there's a lot happening and I'm just going to have to hold myself together so we can get things done around here. Wish me luck!

Daddy's Home!

Two weeks without Daddy is a LONG time! For Eden and for me. She would go over to our bedroom door after she and I had been up and about for a little while and knock on the door and say, "Daddy?" looking for him. If we went into the room, she thought he'd either be in the bed or in the closet and she'd go looking. It was cute, but made my heart sad knowing that she wasn't going to find him. She was more than excited when she saw him last night at the airport - she was running in circles!

I haven't really said much about where Lane was going or how long he was gone, but that's because a)I didn't want to tell the WHOLE world that Eden and I were home alone and b)he was at a training that I still don't - and never will - know much about. He was at SERE school out in San Diego. SERE stands for survival, evasion, resistance, and escape. From those 4 words you can tell that it doesn't sound like a place you want to be! The Marine Corps website sums it up pretty well - better than I could - so read here what Lane was going through:

The...course is broken down into three phases: classroom instruction, survival and evasion.

During the first...days, Marines are put in a classroom environment where the instructors teach them the basics of survival. They are taught how to identify and catch food, build tools, start fires and construct shelter.

The survival phase takes place...where the Marines put the training they received to use by surviving on their own with nothing but a knife, a canteen and the camouflage utility uniforms on their backs.

The last phase of the course...the Marines are broken into teams... The teams must stay on the move through the muddy and tangled jungle to avoid being captured.

“We’ve built our own POW (prisoner of war) camp where we stick the students if they are captured,” Thomas said. “They’re forced to wear the POW uniforms we made and the instructors interrogate and attempt to pry information from them to test their resistance level.”

During their time in the POW camp, Marines are subjected to forced labor such as digging trenches, filling sandbags and cutting wood. They are also put in a small three-foot squared cube-like cell where they are tempted with food to give up information.

While evading capture, the Marines are given free range to move anywhere they like within...training grounds. When evening draws near, they are instructed to find a “safe zone” where the captors are not allowed to enter. If able to reach the safe zone, the students can get five to six hours of sleep per night. If they do not find the zone, they are still subject to capture and may only receive a few hours of sleep if any at all.

The average student losses between 12-15 pounds while going through the course. During their time in the field they must rely on the nutrition given to them through natural food sources...such as snakes, insects, fish and plant roots.

Students participating learn to get through the torment of starvation and weariness by staying motivated and appreciating what they are going through.

So there you have it, something that I hope to NEVER have to go through and am glad Lane made it out of there. Does he want to talk about it? Of course not, who would! I'm sure he's just happy to be home and in a warm bed again. He did lose the "normal" 15 pounds and was more excited about food than he was sleep when they were on their way back to their hotels after their field-work. Just one more thing for me to be super proud of my husband!

After all of that he made it home from California last night and it was almost a total bust. He originally had a 3 hour layover in Dallas, but because of his first flight being delayed so much and then having to travel the length of the airport to get to his second flight, they had already closed the gate on him and the other Marine, Bill, that flew out to California with him for SERE school. They were walking away from the gate to head to the USO counter to try to find another way home since they had missed their flights. As they were walking away the person at the gate called them back and said they were going to open the gate for him and Bill and they were able to fly home and get here on time! Thank goodness the plane had a screw loose {not even kidding} so they would let him come home to us - I had been promising Eden all day that at night night time she would see Daddy!

Feast Your Eyes

Here are the promised pictures so you can SEE what we've been up to!

October 3 - I got these from Pat when we were in GA back in March and I broke down and spray painted them to put them out front.

October 3 - Another project started! Eden's bed for her new room in California is sanded, primed and needs to be sanded, primed {again} and then painted. The "knobs" for the top of the posts are done, just need to finish the bed frame.

October 3 - Eden fell asleep on the way home and I had already ordered her lunch, so she got to eat it as her snack when she got up from her nap. 

October 4 - The lanterns out in the front of the house.

October 4

October 5 - I'm trying REAL hard to make it feel like fall down here in Corpus. It is still in the mid 90s most days, so the inside of my house will at least smell like fall. This candle is from the candle shop that Lauren works at in Mississippi.

October 6 - My "winging gift" from my parents.

October 7 - Another attempt to make it feel like fall, pumpkin spice pound cake! SO good!

October 7 - What my house looked like after Eden went to bed. This is a sign of a good day if you ask me!

October 8 - Eden went to a birthday party and got to bring home a "goodie bucket" and she loved everything inside of it!

October 8 - The "book" that was in her bucket. It is just a blank note pad, but she loves it.

October 8 - Digging for goodies!

October 10 - Eden and I had a pic-nic dinner, PBnJ, grapes, and animal crackers!

October 11 - Eden's first sleep without her paci.

October 12 - Eden's stamp for going poop on the potty. She was happy to wash it off in the bath and talked about going potty to get another one tomorrow! She said bye bye to it and everything!

October 12 - The firetruck is going around the neighborhood for fire safety week and since Eden didn't get a picture with the truck the other day, I took advantage of it tonight. She remembered that the truck has "wawa" to put out fires.

October 12 - Admiring the "tuck"

October 12 - Another project complete {sort of}. The paisley pillows are done, now I need to buy the polka dot and stripe fabrics from Eden's room to get the pillows complete for her new bed {that still needs to be sanded, primed again, and painted}.

October 12 - The stripe that will go with the paisley. All I need to do is buy the fabric and we can call it a day! I'm excited to be taking on a lot of the decorating/creating for Eden's room. Gives me hope to do some things on my own for Baby#2s room!

Too Much, Too Fast

As if my biggest dilemma last night of losing my baby wasn't enough {and I cried as I got in bed at the thought of it!} Eden "grew up" a little more today. We were out and about this morning {bank for escrow on the house - YAY, story time, Home Depot, and JoAnn for pillow forms for Eden's room} and when we got in the car Eden said "poop." I tried telling her that since we were in the car and she had on a diaper that she could just go. That seemed to work and I was happy because she didn't pitch a fit.

After being out all morning {and drinking apple cider and a smoothie} my first stop once we got home was the potty, so Eden wanted to go too! I of course checked her diaper before just whipping it off since I thought there'd be a gift in there from the car, but nope, just a wet diaper. We took her diaper off, she got a book, and she sat on the potty. She finished her book and wanted another one, so she stood up to get it {I guess she feels like she might fall forward if she sits and gets another one from her bucket} and I couldn't believe my eyes! THERE WAS POOP IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got excited, told her she did a great job and she looked at it like it was an alien with 5 heads - but didn't get scared of it like I thought she might.

She didn't want to sit back on the potty after seeing her stuff, so we wiped and called it a day. I put it in the big potty and showed her that it was gone so that she knew it wasn't going to stay and stare at her, or whatever she thought it might do. She got to flush the potty and say bye bye to the poop and she was actually very excited to do so. After she finished saying bye bye I got out her "potty stamp" and showed it to her and you would have thought I told her she won a million dollars! She was SO excited to see the stamp and I put it on her hand and she just adored it! I wish there was a camera to capture the moment she saw me get that down!

After her great potty experience today it was nap time {without the paci} and she went down semi-ok. After I left her room she was talking to herself as she was falling asleep. I loved listening to her today because she kept saying "yay poop" and "night night" while she was up there all by herself. It took her a little longer to fall asleep today than it normally does, but she did a great job of getting those tired eyes to close.

All in all - I've had a pretty emotional less-than-24-hours! Breaking Eden of the paci, poop on the potty...what next? Drivers license?! I'm not ready for her to grow up!!!

Wait, What?!

No paci?! I'm sitting here on the couch holding my breath. Eden went to bed tonight without her paci. She got her bath {like normal} and then we went into her room to get dressed and ready for bed {this is when she usually starts asking for her "papi"}. She did ask for her paci once or twice, but we put lotion on and because she got to help put it on her tummy and arms, she was distracted and didn't seem to notice that I didn't give her the paci. After lotion, a diaper, and pjs it was time to sit in the rocking chair and say our prayer, turn on the music, rock, and then get in bed. Before we said her prayers she started looking for her paci and she asked for it. This time I told her that we were going to say our prayers first and then get the paci {it seemed to work for the time being}. After our rocking chair routine it was time for the crib...the true test! I got my hugs and kisses and then put her in her crib for night night. She rolled over and I thought I was in the clear! Nope, she rolled onto her back and said "papi?" just once and I kissed her again, said I'd see her in the morning and left the room. She cried a few times, but never longer than 30 seconds, and she was sleeping within 20 minutes {which is pretty normal for her anyways}.

So here I sit, an hour later, and I'm still holding my breath. I can't seem to breathe about it yet for many reasons. 1, is she going to wake up and want it? 2, did I really just get rid of the paci before a move half way across the country? 3, did I just give up one last piece of baby-hood for her? 4, is it ok with Lane that I got rid of it so soon?

I'm not going to lie, question number 3 almost has me in tears right now. I almost want to go put it in her crib so she can just have it because its one of the few things that ties her to still being my baby. I'm not sure I'm ready for her to grow up, even if it is just one step at a time. I want her to be my little baby forever!

Question number 2, however, is what made me stop my descent from upstairs when I was only half way down. I could kick myself for taking it right before our move! I mean, if she makes it through the night, there's no reason to give it back. If I don't give it back then she's going to have to endure an entire 24 hour drive {over the course of a few days} without her "papi" and I don't know that I want to endure that car ride! The trip won't be for at least another 2 weeks {probably} so if I follow through, it will be her normal to be without her paci...right? I hope so!!!

Questions 1 and 4 don't have me so worried like 3 and 2 do. I mean, I guess if she wakes up and wants it I'll just have to play it by ear. Chances are I'm not going to want to trek upstairs in the middle of the night {though I've done it many times before} once I've gone to bed. And let's face it, Lane isn't going to be mad that I got rid of it. If anything I think he'll have a lot of the same emotions about it like I do {without showing them of course!} and there might even be a sense of relief that he didn't have to be here when we got rid of it!

That is, if we've gotten rid of it. Even if she's ready, I don't know that I am...I need strength! I've already promised that when we work on self soothing and crying it out with Baby#2 that I'm going to take the paci then. If we're dealing with crying already and {s}he won't know what's going on, then that's when it's going to happen! Easier on everyone involved...I hope.

Dreams

Pregnancy brings on great dreams. I've enjoyed most of my dreams recently. Last night I had a dream that Baby#2 is a girl. I've felt most days that Baby#2 is a boy...hmmmm, makes me wonder {even more than I was before}.

Every dream that I've had about the sex of a baby has been opposite of real life. I had a dream when I was pregnant with Eden that I delivered a boy. I had a dream early in pregnancy that a good friend of mine, Sara, was going to have a boy. She found out a little while ago that she's going to have a beautiful baby girl. Well, my dream last night was that I found out we were having another girl.

Lane doesn't like me to call Baby#2 a boy, him, his, etc. because he says I'll jinx it. Whatever, what's done is done and this baby is either a boy or a girl already, so by calling it a him, I'm not jinxing anything {but I'll humor him}. All along I've said its a boy and in just a few weeks we'll all get to find out if I'm right or if I've jinxed it! I'm so excited to find out!!!!!!!!

Firetruck

Tonight after dinner, Eden and I set out for our evening walk. I usually let her ride in her wagon, but tonight she wanted to walk. So, with a toy in each hand we set out and she was walking by my side...and then riding on my shoulders...then walking...then being carried. You get the idea, as much as she thought she wanted to walk, she didn't really want to walk all that badly!

As we turned the corner from our block, we saw a firetruck. We got closer to the firetruck {which was parked across the street in the hotel parking lot} and I decided to walk her over to see it. The truck's lights were off so I figured they weren't on a call and therefore we wouldn't be getting in the way of anything. I also figured there wouldn't be a threat of the siren or horn to scare her.

While we made our circle around the truck one of the firemen saw us - uh oh, we're in trouble now! But not really! He told me that he could turn the truck on and lights so Eden could see!! We got our very own firetruck tour. They let her sit in the driver seat, hold the helmet {she wouldn't let me put it on her}, look at all the lights and even hold their hand-held radio. She was shy while we were there - I couldn't believe it - but when we started walking away she talked about the "yites," the "tuck," and the hat. She was so excited about her personal tour.

I'm sure you're dying for a picture...I didn't take my camera. It was just supposed to be another evening walk! I also didn't take my cell phone with us, but it wouldn't have mattered, the battery was dying and it wouldn't have let me take pictures anyways. Doesn't mean I'm not bummed about not having a picture of it though.